Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
