I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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