so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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