i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
