I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
