How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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