Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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