when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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