we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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