We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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