We're facebook friends in real life
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
