The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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