just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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