so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
