What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
