im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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