Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
