I heard we made out
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
