That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how drunk are you?
Several
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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