If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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