How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
