the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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