Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
