pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
