I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
