yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
love makes seman taste better
vagina is talking i cant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
