dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
