you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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