Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
