Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
