Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
