Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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