I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it's like heaven, but drunker
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
