Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize