addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
