Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
