the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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