When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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