Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
