Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
