Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
