this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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