so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
