She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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