She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
