Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
pray to the hookup gods
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
