I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
