Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
