hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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