Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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