It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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