Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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